MY GOD..It's Paradise

Hello All-

Steve is subconsciously feeling bad because he has posted nothing about Fiji. That is because he is on a small island in the middle of the South Pacific and it is absolute paradise. He is so remote that this is costing him 12 dollars a half hour. So this is to say BULA! (hello in Fiji) and that he won't be writing any more posts until he gets home. And the most he has to figure out is which dive site to dive and what drink to have on the beach. My God he has never been to a more beautiful place...

Until America-
-Steve's Conscience

So long Australia..Take Care...

...and hello Fiji!

It's Mel (BIN) you idiot....

The Golden days of my tenure in Australia are upon me and I have spent them on a road trip from Sydney to Melbourne. This is called the Boomerang Coast and the majority of what everyone thinks Australia is-resides here. Melbourne itself is a delightful little city. It has a wonderful network of back alley bars and restaurants that keeps even the most wildest of souls entertained. Situated at the very bottom of Australia it had a small hint of Autumn in the air. Victoria (the state in which it resides) probably has the most severe seasons. It was a reminder that summer is over and my trip is nearing an end. In my travels I have seen the chill of spring, the ending heat of summer and now the dull bite of Autumn. These may not seem surprising given the length of my trip but you are forgetting that I have seen them completely out of order. Imagine packing for such a trip and then you will have an idea of what my life was like my last days in NY. I have lived with the same limited "set" of clothes for nearly four months now. It will confound me to have a choice when I get to my closet in the morning when I get back. My entire world may collapse.

We spend three delightful days in Melbourne's CBD (central business district) strolling through shops, taking in views of the city, and finding undiscovered bars in the back alleys at night. With its Victorian style building and extensive tram system the city has a more of a European feel than any other in Australia. Its proximity to the Victorian landscape and coast is one if its greatest assets. After three days we set off for the Great Ocean Road an hour and a half outside of town. It was an OK experience, but then again, maybe I am jaded now. I have seen New Zealand you know. The GOR winds through a spectacular piece of coast just west of Melbourne. But it left me wondering as to when something deserves the term "great". I wouldn't exactly call this road "great". It's 'nicer" than most. It would be "great" if it were the only road next to an ocean. The only "wow" part of it is the 12 Apostles (pictured below and left) and their aren't even 12 of them anymore. Hmm..I did see some wild Koalas on the road? The night we spent in Port Cambel I grilled and ate Kangaroo meat for the first time. That was pretty "great". Unfortunately that same hostel kicked us out in the morning and we had to break into another empty hostel down the street just to eat breakfast. That was "great" for us, but maybe not to the hostel owner that we broke into. I guess it is just a matter of perspective.

For perspective take all the subtle differences between two western societies that are thousands of miles apart. For the sake of argument lets say Australia and the United States. Those differences are what color a place. Australia may feel like the states but I have noticed many small differences. And it would be down right rude of me not to point them out now that I have brought it up. (depending on your perspective).

Take the name Melbourne for example. It's actually pronounced Mel (BIN) with a long 'I" and not Mel (BORN) like you would think, as I have been pointed out on more than one occasion. There are always differences in language between places even when you speak the same language. It's a Cloak Room not a coat check you idiot.

Or the fact that you pay for every little thing here that you normally have been conditioned to assume are complimentary. Condiments is a good example. I love paying two dollars for my packet of ketchup. Or the Internet. Here you pay for the amount you download. You have a prepaid amount and once you hit that you have to sit back and twiddle your thumbs until your allotment renews. (this one I found particularly annoying..especially when catching up on my LOST episodes).

Service is something to note. There is no tipping but for some reason service is still just as good as when you would tip. Or when you forget to put something in your checked luggage at Quantas Airways-they happily give you a temporary bag to check it in with your already checked bags. And they do that with a smile..like you are the only person in the world.

You actually "hail" buses here like you would do with a taxi.

Something else I have noticed. I think we as Americans do not use our knives to their full potential. We cut, we put down and then we switch hands with our fork and then apply food to our mouth. For the rest of the world..its seems the knife is much more than simply a cutting tool. In fact it has a Swiss army myriad of uses. It's a second fork, a shovel for pushing food toward your fork, a balancer of pieces of food that are to big for the fork, and it is always held in the second hand while eating. Only then is it sometimes used as a knife to cut things. I am sure my grandmother is rolling in her grave over this.

And my personal favorite: The two button toilet. Yes folks were are talking about the economy flush or the jumbo flush. Somebody actually took the time to think through the fact that not all trips to the o'l "WC" are the same. Some require a little iddy-biddy flush and for those bad days (or good days depending on your perspective) a great big grand-daddy flush. In the end this probably saves water too. Perhaps this is just a testament to the way Australian/New Zealanders think through things environmentally.

Combine all of these little quarks, in a "great", western, safe (as long as you stay in the cities), prosperous society in a vast country with lots of strange animals and fun things to do with nothing in between- than you have Australia. As cute or as annoying some of these may be they are the paint in the picture that is Australia. And I love it.

I am going to throw it back to Bill Bryson one last time because he says it best in his book, In a Sunburned Country:

"That's the thing with Australia, you see. It teems with interesting stuff, but at the same time it's so vast and empty and forbidding that it generally takes a remarkable stroke of luck to find it"

As for me. I was lucky to just have been here.

The Perfect Outback Day

Something stirred in my brain.

Is something moving? Its too dark to be time to get up.

I open my eyes to the clear starry night sky and the light of the full moon.

Yep people are up and moving about camp. Must be time to go. Ugh. God only knows what time it is. It's cold?

Reality sinks in.

Man I am in the middle of the Northern Territory's outback sleeping under the stars. Need to take in the moment. hmm. Lets slip on my headphones and listen to my new Australian Anthem.

I listen to my Aboriginal inspired music as the night sky unfolds before me. My stomach goes giddy.

"Get up Steve! Do all Americans sleep in so late?"

I grunt. Not so much at the fact that I am the only American once again, but at the disturbance to the little world I had created for myself. I have breakfast in the dark, roll up my swag and boarded our safari van for our trip to watch the sun rise over Uluru. Everyone is waiting for me. What can I say? I am used to doing things on my own time. "Here comes the sun" is piped in over the speakers in our van.

Rachel thinks she is cute.

We get to where we need to be, disembark and watch something that should be mundane but its not. The sunrising. But this time it was over the largest rock on earth.

That's not something you see everyday. Good way to start my day. oh geez is that Swedish guy being stupid again?

After the sunrise we walk the base of Uluru. Good walk. Special place. Rachel gives a short guided walk about the history of the Aboriginal people. My mind wonders.

Did I leave the iron on? oh right..aboriginal people. Need to read more about them.

We load up the car and drive into the dessert on our way to Kings Canyon. I have nothing in front of me but the open road, my camera and the whole outback. "Ok folks", Rachel chimes in. " We are going to be making a stop at Kings Creek Station..oh and if any of you would like...they will take you up in a helicopter but they only will go if there is two people willing". My ears perked up like a kangaroo. I looked behind me and stared at the broke early 20 something group behind me.

Nobody is going to be willing to pay to go with me.

"Steve upfront wants to go" Rachel cracks over the mic reading the look on my face. I look behind me again and read the looks on everyone's faces. That crazy American.

"I'll go with you"

Oh ya the weird German guy. What's his name again. Frank? Matt? Amadeus? oh right Daniel. Hmm...maybe Germans are not so stoic after all..no matter what I am taking the front seat.

The motor rang to life and up and away we went for 15 minutes into the "back" of the outback. "So how long have you been flying this thing I asked our pilot". "Two years" she chimed back. I took a double take as if I expected it to be longer.

It's only 15 minutes. What can happen in fifteen minutes?

"Lets see if we can find you some wild horses" our pilot chimes in.

Horses? Chase down wild horses in the outback? That would make my day..

Two minutes later my day was made. A small pack of wild brumbies (horses) emerged on the plateau before us along with a couple of wild camels. She circles and gets in low.

Hmm. It's not everyday I chase down wild horses and camels with a helicopter in the Australian outback. Is this a movie?

We land with a wild grin on my face. We load back into the van and in honor of our flight Rachel selects "Danger Zone" from the movie Top Gun.

Shes thinks she is being cute again.

We drive a bit further and arrive near our camp at the mouth of Kings Canyon. I am giddy the whole way. We stop and take picture of the mouth of Canyon. The others giving me looks as I hop up on the trailer to get a better shot with a big smile on my face. I love taking pictures.

We arrive in camp just as the sun was setting over the landscape. We scamper up a small cliff and we watch as the earth does its thing as it does everyday but each day different.

This place is magical.

We make dinner in camp. Spaghetti Bolognese my favorite. After dinner we break out the wine and converse with people from all walks around the glow of the campfire. There are crazy stories of getting stuck in the outback while driving and dust storms that envelop whole towns. The sky becomes the pale dark blue that only becomes from the light of the full moon. My eyes grow heavy and I roll back into my "Swag".

Man these things are comfortable. Need to invest in one when I get back home.

Before exhaustion of the day sets in I slip back on my headphones and listen to my Australian anthem once again. I take in the glow of the milky way stars and the grandeur of the outback night sky. I am right back where I started.

If only I could spend everyday under the stars, chasing horses in a heli.......zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Real Australia

Welcome to the outback! The real Australia. The void that evaded the original colonists for many decades. The center of nothing. Here the earth is red and the average daily temp is in the 40's Celsius. Here the roads are so long you could spend days driving with out seeing a single thing. The Stuart Highway, which runs from Adelaide in the south all the way to Darwin in the far north, runs nearly 3000km but has only 2 curves in it. Here if somebody breaks down you have to stop and help. You maybe their only lifeline. As you drive you wave to on coming cars as if to say "howdy neighbor..hope everything is all right. Good luck with the rest of your 4k km journey!". Here the average speed limit is 130km per hour. (80.7 miles an hour). Here the road trains..i.e. tractor trailers can be up to six trailers long. Why not? You just about never make a turn. Things are so far apart here that ambulance services come in the form of "Flying Doctors" and instead of flying to the rescue in an ambulance they literally fly to you in an airplane. Here it is so dry they actually cancel boat races in Alice Springs if there is actually water in the river. I kid you not. Here things are so old that the oldest rivers systems on earth can be seen. This place is so vast so untouched that time literally has no meaning here. So why would I come to such a place? Because of a little rock named Uluru. (some of you know it as Ayers Rock)

It's really not so little. In fact it is the largest single rock on the face of the planet. Even though we can see only the very top of it. Think of flat nothing for miles and miles and then suddenly a huge red-orange colored rock that rises out of the surface of the planet for hundreds of meters into the sky out of nowhere. What? You traveled thousands of kilometers to see a rock? Yes I did. And you should too if you ever come here. But with most things you travel to its the experience of seeing it that counts. And there is no better way to experience the "Red Center" than on an Outback Safari for three days. And that is what I did.

Yes. We are talking three days of wide open, sleeping under the stars, cuddling with dingos kind of experience. Lovingly hosted by our wonderful guide Rachel. Rachel was from Victoria down south and she had this uncanny ability to talk and sound just like my friend Rachel from Melbourne who traveled with me in NZ. That's funny they even had the same name? Rachel was armed with a 30 gig MP3 player that she would pipe into our safari van when we drove. (which was about 90% of time) She had a song for every occasion. When it was time to go off road its was music like the "Mission Impossible theme" or when it was time to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and drive and watch the sun rise over Uluru it was things like the Beetles "Here Comes the Sun". I was allocated the front passenger seat so I got to pick her brain more than anyone else. She had this uncanny ability to have a thoughtful answer to every question posed to her which is so hard to find in people these days. I guess that is why she is a tour guide.

We started our adventure in Alice Springs. Pretty much the only town in the middle of nowhere. Its nothing but depressing. You think we in America have race relation problems? The Aboriginal presence here subsides in the form of drunken, smelly people who constantly wonder the streets. And I am not exaggerating. It was an eye opener and unfortunately this is part of the real Australia. Funny thing you don't know who to blame for this. Them or the people who came through their land and took it for themselves. It was all to reminiscent of a certain scenario in the United States over two hundred years ago..only this time is it much more recent and in your face.

From Alice we set off for Uluru and our first stop was Kata Tjuta. (commonly referred to as the "The Ulgas"). We took a hike in the middle of them. Built by the same geological forces that formed Uluru, they are a rock formation that is not to far away and often over looked. Then it was off to the watching of the sun set on the west face of Uluru. That night we camped under the stairs in "swags". They are sort of an Australian sleeping back/tent. The next day it was sunrise at Uluru and a hike around it's base. Rachel guided part of it and regaled us with amazing stories of the Aboriginals that lived and still live here. Next it was a long drive to Kings Canyon. Another night of sleeping under the stars and a long hike through Kings Canyon on the last day. Kings Canyon is a wondrous place. It's basically a large forgotten canyon carved through the plateau over millions of years. Inside is a mecca of layered rock, permanent waterholes and plants that grow to being hundreds of years old. It was certainly a high light of the trip. Oh and I even rode a camel and in a helicopter.

I can easily see how these places were sacred to the Aboriginals who lived here. There is something very special about them that I could only begin to articulate. Ya? but its still just a rock? For one: it is a symbol of Australia. Two: there is something about the color here and the way the light hits everything. Three: human history here predates anything we could ever care about. And fourthly (and most importantly): this place is immensely old. Older than what you would encounter anywhere else. And that gave me pause for thought most of all. Here was something that nature took millions of years to create. It was what it was: essentially just a rock. That is until nature came up with something else millions of years later to look at that rock, label it a rock, and appreciate it. Mankind. The rock was no longer just a rock anymore but a very special place. By inventing the human mind nature had reinvented its own creation. The real Australia is not just about beaches, and boomerangs, and amazing peanut butter. It's about how human kind changed nature by simpling looking at it and saying "Lets see what is out in that void and make it something". Its history is littered with such instances.

And for those of you who are wondering. No. I didn't climb the rock. Out of respect of the Aboriginals that ask you not to.

....and the fact that climbing the rock was closed for the day due to high winds. But hey..lets just forget that little bit of information shall we?

And Then There Was Just One...

When given a choice between spending some extra time with a great group of people or seeing that one extra site to see, I almost always side with the spending that time with the people. Half of traveling is meeting those like minded spirits in transit. Those that wonder and appreciate with you. This realization has lead me to believe that I am more of a people person than I allow myself to acknowledge. And that influence has deviated me from my schedule on more than one occasion. And for those that can't understand how one could travel for months, without schedule, it's the beauty of traveling this way. It's the people in your journeys that determine your schedule, to a certain extent. In most cases they are the leading factor in how long you spend in a place. If you have done it right your trip in the end is a string of new friends from all walks of life with shared common experiences. It's a reminder that those who wander are not necessarily lost.

The East Coast of Australia has a way of snowballing the people and friends you meet. By the time you reach Cairns, the last major stop at the top of the country, you have amassed a group of people littered with experiences from all over Australia. That is where Cairns surprised me. It's not the the bus depot, "get in and go where you need to then get out" kind of place that everyone made it out to be. I don't know if whether it was the Esplanade or the lagoon by the sea. Or the fact that the whole town sits next to the largest living thing on earth. Maybe it was the brilliant sunsets or the nightly pilgrimage of bats over the city. Or its nutty night life and pedestrian malls. It could have been the free BBQs in the park or it status as the last "hurrah!" for those traveling just the east coast. Or perhaps it was that fact that just about everyone who travels Australia comes to it at some point and runs into someone else they have met along the way. There is just something about Cairns.

So I have stayed longer in Cairns than planned. Why not? The people I met determined it. There was Simone, Bhavna, Tim, Don, Deanna and Christian from my dive boat. There was JJ and Sarah from Frasier Island and there was Justina and her friend Katrine who was dating the bass player from the band "Razor light". One day I organized a BBQ next to the lagoon (they have a swimming lagoon because you can't swim in the ocean because of the stinging jellyfish). Everyone came. As we sat in a big circle enjoying the Australian evening I couldn't help but be in awe of the people around me from all different walks of life. I had amassed the sum of my Australian travels all in one place next to the sea. The sun was setting and I was happy. It was the culmination of my east coast travels.

And as with most things over time the layers begin to peel away and one by one we began to go our separate ways. First it was Don and Deanna (who were only on a two week trip), then Tim and Bhavna. The next day Justina, Katrina, JJ and I rented a car and drove north to Cape Tribulation for a night. This is where some of the oldest rainforest on earth meets wild secluded beaches and eventually the sea. We did a guided night walk in the rainforest and had mango margaritas in Port Douglas. The highlight of the trip (well lets not say highlight) was when Justina nearly cut off her finger with her pocket knife while stealing some sugar cane from a field on the side of the road. After performing emergency bandaging in the women's bathroom of the hostel we drove nearly an hour before we could find the nearest town before we could find a small shack in the rainforest that contained a field nurse. Had it been a life threatening injury the situation would have been dire. In the end, Justina passed the ordeal with a smile and joke in her usual way. Those crazy Brits. Always looking for attention. Maybe it was my driving? Needless to say it was an adventurous end to our little road trip.

Upon our arrival back in Cairns it was just Simone, JJ, Sarah, Katrine, Justina and I. We braved the likes of the Woolshed and Gilligan's, two Cairns nightlife establishments, for a couple more nights. Then Sarah left, then Simone, and then Katrine. We made a few day trips to local floral and fauna around the area-one of which we ran into a giant snake slithering across the road. And I am talking giant..like six to eight feet long and 5 inches thick kind of long. Justina, who was driving, screamed on the top of her lungs. I screamed too. But I was screaming at Justina to stop the car so I could run after it and photograph it. (i never ended up getting a picture of it)Eventually it was time to drop JJ off at the airport leaving just two. Me and Justina. We ate on the Esplanade and watched the bats come in one last time, taking in Cairns for one last day. After much debate as to what I was going to do next (it seems my decision making skills stayed in the northern hemisphere while I went south)....eventually it was time even for me to leave. Leaving just one. Justina. Eventually, I believe, even Justina left-leaving Cairns to another group of wondering souls and another day next to the sea.

I could see all the wonders of the world but if I didn't meet great people along the way then the journey there would be pointless. Sometimes those wonders are only as far as the person sitting across from you.

Scuba Steve!

I have made it to the top of Queensland and the largest living thing on Earth: The Great Barrier Reef. On every trip you hit a pinnacle. It mimics most things in life and follows a bell curve. You start low and you hit the top sometime in the middle and work your way down from there. Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef was the top of my bell curve. Not to say that anything that comes after is "less" an experience than what I had in Cairns. Certain experiences embody the reason you travel in the first place.

When I got to Cairns I immediately started preparing for my live aboard dive trip of three days with a company called Prodive. I had heard of them because my friends back home Aaron & Claire had recently taken a trip around the world and had dived with them. (check out their blog by clicking here-Oh when oh when will Aaron finish that blog?).

But lets get something straight first. I wouldn't call it a dive trip. I would call it Scuba Boot Camp. With 11 dives-4 in the first day, 4 the second day and three the third day (before 11:30am) it was more about stamina then diving. But needless to say. I made it through all 11 dives, including my first two night dives. (Even though my nitrogen levels were in the "V" range for those who actually know what that means). The interesting thing about Prodive is that they very much respect the fact that you are a certified diver and strongly encourage you to dive with out a dive master. To my knowledge this is unheard of anywhere else. And dive without a dive master I did. Nervous at first because I hadn't dived in several years I decided to at the same time continue my certification process and get my PADI advanced certification. That way for 5 of my dives I would have a dive master with me and for very little extra I got my next level of certification. I am now able to deep dive to 30 meters (90 feet). But it wasn't the class that got me confident. It was the fact that for most of my dives I was on my own relying on the skills I had learned long ago. And for the first time in my life I felt like a real diver. I was even able to navigate underwater without any problems-Aaron and Claire?

Lets back up for a second. You are never alone underwater. That's because you have a dive partner that is there through thick and thin. For me it came in the form of a fellow American. Yes I said fellow American. For the first time there is actually 3 other Americans on this trip. His name was Christian. He is currently serving in Iraq, -correction he is doing cool shit in Iraq by actually flying Blackhawk helicopters. He was on leave for two weeks and the army was going to fly him anywhere he wished. So naturally he said "Australia man"! There were many great people on this boat and a good number of them I still keep in touch with. I guess doing something you love for three days aboard a boat in one of the most beautiful and unique environments tends to bring people together. There was Deanna and Don from Colorado, Mathias and Claire from Germany, Simone from Holland, Bhavna (who snorkeled), Tim and Justina from Britain. That's just to name a few.(there were 24 of us) .We all shared a unique experience on the open water and we will always have that in common.

I could talk about it for days but time is always of the essence. So here are some of the best moments that stick out in my mind. My night dives. The ocean is an incredible moonscape at night. And regardless of moonshine or night you can see everything. (in fact on our first night dive we turned or torches off and navigated by moonlight.) Right before our second night dive our captain actually feed the sharks off the back of our boat. They were swarming as we jumped in. That same dive we encountered the largest sea turtle I have ever seen. (it was longer than I was). It swam with us in the dark for a while getting with in a few inches of my hands reach before it disappeared into the darkness to live the rest of its life. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. Another was our first dive on the second day which was our advance course deep dive. We swam through giant split coral surrounded by thousands of glass fish that swarmed in around us. That same dive I was able to capture on film a Lionfish which no other dive teams spotted. (pictured at the very top of this posting). Also under the advice of Aaron and Claire I had rented an underwater camera from a shop in Cairns and was the envy of the boat during the trip. I was able to shoot off the pictures and video you see here plus many more.

Prodive helped to make it such a unique experience as well. Before every dive our dive instructor Triston would verbally take us through each dive and draw neat little pictures on his dry erase board to explain the route and what to see. Not to mention that we ate like kings in between dives. And they were goofy too. There wasn't a day when a food fight would erupt on board or an egg fight would ensue with a neighboring Prodive vessel. (actually we only saw one other vessel the entire time and that was the last day). One day we actually lost our skipper Mark. He had set out to do some snorkeling on his own and for nearly 45 minutes the crew had no idea where he was. Even the dolphins showed up to play in our wake as we motored the 30 nautical miles back to Cairns on our last day.

The Great Barrier Reef is a wondrous place and we had it all to ourselves. I have never seen coral pods so big. On my last dive I poked my head through a cave that came out into the middle of huge coral pod. When I popped my head up there was nothing but a sea of corals. One solid living thing in all directions and I realised (through the Darth Vador breathing which is the only thing you hear when you dive) that I was just a visitor in this other world. A world we need to protect and educate people about. Aaron had told me before I left that diving the Great Barrier Reef was one of the greatest things that he had done in his life and I can't help put agree with him. It's a right of passage for all divers and for all that want to explore the world.

And as far as Aaron and Claire are concerned. I owe you a big steak dinner for turning me onto this gem. Your advice is always solid in my book.

The Northern Hemisphere Can Now Rest Easy..

There is no more doubt. It is unconditionally true. I have scientifically proved it. It took me nearly two months to find a good specimen for my experiment. And when I did, I repeated the experiment several times to make certain. (as any good scientist does). And I made certain that this specimen was located in the southern hemisphere. (conveniently the "head" on my boat in the Whitsunday Islands). This no longer a wives tale or a myth secretly murmured between school children on the school playground. This is the cold hard facts folks.

And the best thing is..you can all thank me. I have taken all doubt from your brain. No more waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats dreaming about whether it was just a myth or not. No more wondering. No more desperately trying to contact friends and relatives in the southern hemisphere to dispel your curiosity. This video is proof.

A Little Boat Named "Silent Night"

Ever since I was a small boy I have been fascinated with boats and sailing. Can't explain why. Just something about being on the open water. This past summer I took a three day course and received my Keel boat certification. Ever since then I have tried my best to be on a boat but that's not why I sailed on the Whitsunday Islands. I did it because everyone else told me to. Do I always do what everyone else tells me to? No. But they used the word "sail".... so naturally I said yes.

Sailing the Whitsunday Islands off the coast of eastern Australia is the other right of passage for those traveling up the east coast. It sort of goes hand in hand with Frasier Island. Once you do that you hop an over night bus and 10 hours north you are sailing some of the most amazing beach islands you have ever seen. There are many boats that you can choose. Many choose the big "party" boats because they just need yet another excuse to drink. I chose a more civilized route and landed on a little boat called "Silent Night". Also I was told you could help sail the bloody thing. Which in the end turned out to be a darn right lie. (helping raise the main sail does not qualify as helping to sail a 40 foot yacht). But you know me. I am all hands on.

Despite that rather small disappointment I really did have a good time. Let me put it into perspective for you. Put on some soft music and go to that special place. Sit back and close your eyes, do some narcotics or whatever puts you into a zen like state.

Imagine yourself getting on a big sail boat with 11 other like minded strangers. They are from all over the world. There is what your skipper Max calls Team Danish, Team Germany, Team Dutch, Team French, Team British, Team Aussie/British and Captain America (which being again the token American-you). You get a nice little cabin and you bunk with two very sassy Danish Girls (also affectionately called team infectious because of the colds they harbor) You get a deck hand to cook for you everyday. The only thing you have to do is get out bed and apply some sunscreen. You leave your cell phone and your computers and pretty much all contact with the rest of the world behind. You let the wind take this little boat to a protected cove on Hook Island were your deck hand provides a scrumptious dinner and you schmooze with your international counterparts over wine. That night you stay up late, sitting alone on the bow of the boat listening to your music looking up at the grandest stars you have ever seen. As the Southern Cross stares down upon you you realize in that moment you are having your first great Australian moment. And everything is simple. You realize quite simply that this is everything that you have always wanted. Some wind, good food and company, the night sky and a big boat to take you there. You could get used to this.

The next day you get up. Put on some more sunscreen and you sail the high sea to a beach called Whitehaven. On that beach is the purest whitest sand you have ever seen. Its so pure in fact that not to long ago NASA purchased 40,000 tons of it to create the lens for the Hubble Space Telescope. After an afternoon playing on that island beach you sail some more. This time the sea is angry and puts up a good fight. The boat heals (tips) tremendously but you and your British buddy Emma know its perfectly normal and you spend the sail riding the high side of the boat with wind and waves crashing into you-laughing all the way. That afternoon you anchor in a calm bay and snorkel some of the most amazing coral you have ever seen. You feed the fish and even an eagle that lives on the cliffs near by. You anchor in a far off cove and watch the absolute most amazing sunset you have ever seen. (pictured above). That night your deck hand cooks you an amazing lasagna dinner and both he and the skipper break out their guitars. You spend the rest of the evening singing songs and sipping port underneath the stars. All the while trying to ignore the other stupid drinking boat that has anchored not to far off your starboard side. You exchange great banter between your international shipmates, especially your Danish cabin mates.

The third day you awake to a calm warm rain and jump over board for a morning snorkel only to discover that the party boat in the middle the night had quietly motored over in their dingy to a neighboring boat and painted a scull and cross bones using Vegemite on their hull. You chuckle with amuzment. After a hard snorkel you clamor aboard for the return journey from the Whitsunday Islands to Arlie Beach were you spend the rest of your night in the local establishments with old friends from Frasier and new friends from the boat. You realize that you could quite your job, move all the way around the world and work on a boat the rest of your life. Doing this everyday.

Now. If you could skim the surface and slightly imagine something like that, then (and only perhaps then) you somewhat have a perspective of what my experience in the Whitsunday Islands is like.

Something else to imagine:

As an official cabin mate of the Danish I learned many things in my Whitsundays voyage. Including some of the wise sayings that have been passed down through the Denmark people over the centuries, including my favorite phrase of all time. In Danish it reads:

Maa Din Roev Kloe Og Dine Arme Vaere For Korte.

Which plainly translates to English as:

My your ass itch and your arms be to short.

A Little Island Named "Fraser"

Off the middle of the coast of Queensland Australia there is a little island called Fraser. Its a spectacular little island. Actually it's not so little. In fact it is the largest sand island in the world. But its a special large sand island. Its the only place in the world where the rainforest grows directly out of the sand. Its a place were it's freshwater lakes feel like bathwater and pure white sand rivals that of the Caribbean. There are no roads, no permanent people. Just a few sand tracks, lots of dingos and an open beach that resembles an open highway. Consequently, it's also the only place in the world (to my knowledge) where you can be thrown together with 10 other perfect strangers, given a Manual 4x4 to drive, exactly 12. 3 seconds to learn how to drive it, some tents, a bad map and three days to explore the open road..er..sand with no guide. And that is exactly what happens on Fraser every single day.

The experience that is Fraser Island is somewhat of right of passage for those you travel the east coast of Australia. Just about everyone that travels up the coast does it. And for most of your travels afterword in Australia you have something to talk about with people. "Ah you did Fraser?" "Did you get stuck?" Did you go to Lake McKenzie?" "How was your group?". I think its because its one of the most unique experiences you will ever do traveling somewhere. It has the right combination of adventure, scenery, personalities and "holy shit we are going to tip over" kind of frightfulness. And in the end you walk away with more than just an experience, but 10 new friends that have bonded over the experience of driving a piece of machinery that costs thousands of dollars to fix if you mess it up over conditions that only the army should have to learn to deal with. But gees..that was both the scary and fun part of it.

The 4x4 rental guys didn't help. They were the kind of dirty, gruff, Aussie type of guys that were clearly so tired of dealing with young irresponsible travelers such as ourselves that their sense of humor gauges were pointing to empty. I don't know exactly when I realized I didn't like these guys. Maybe it was when they pulled all the drivers over and said very sternly "Well guys..this is it. Every ones lives are in your hands. Even though they had just finished telling everyone that everyone is responsible for what happens. Or even yet, their brief and very compelling explanation of how to drive the thing.

"er ya..so when you get off the ferry and before you hit the sand you stop lock the wheels, put her out of gear. Then down shift her into 4H. Then when it gets to heavier deeper sand, stop but her out of gear put her in 4L and starter her out in 2nd. Remember that the clutch rides high and you need to power through, if you get stuck...change the gravitational constant of the universe to the right angle of the bow plane of the universe 2 degrees to the right....blah blah blah..."

He could have been speaking Swahili for all I knew. I shuffled over to Ben, who was to be my driving partner and whispered in his ear.

"Uh..you getting all this?".

"Nope".

"Great"

It also didn't help that as they were explaining the process of the universe it was raining outside. No correction, it wasn't raining. The flood gods were having a heyday. And we were about to handle all of this for the first time, with 10 back seat drivers, all of whose lives were sitting on the ability of me to operate this complex machinery. Ya. Leave it to the token American to drive the damn thing. Why can't I just be the passive one? Of course I had to be the first to drive. And when we hit that sand beach for the first time all nervous eyes were on me. Never mind that fact that every time we hit a soft patch of sand the vehicle would fish tale and feel as it was about to flip over because its top side was heavier than its bottom side. Never mind the fact that I hadn't driven a manual in quite some time. Or every time I hit a bump people would go flying off their seats. Never mind the fact that the rental place had put so much fear into everyone by simply saying "you break..you buy". Or the fact that it was raining buckets, fire hoses and small inland lakes. The pressure was on.

Maybe if I turned the radio on that would relieve some tension..

*Crackle*..the tropical depression that was been headed for the coast of Queensland has the possibility of gaining straight and cyclone warnings have been issued for the whole of the Queensland coast. The storm is expected to hit the coast over the next three days...

Ya...lets just reach back over and turn that radio back off.

"Anyone want to sing a song?"

The funny thing about a Fraser Island experience is that somehow the sun seems to come out and things seem to work out. Take my group for example. Anywhere else, throwing 11 individual people with 11 individual ways of doing things wouldn't work, but for some reason on Fraiser it does. Our groups were selected by our hostel and maybe I was just lucky but my group seemed to work together best. We packed our 4x4 the best, we shopped for all our food as a group and got around the whole island making decisions the whole way without a single argument. If that was not special then I don't know what is. I think it was because I had good people. There was Ben my co-pilot and driving partner, Jen, Lauren and Mitch, Chris, Holly (whom we would all come to respect after playing the drinking game "I never"), Sarah, Gium and Olivia (our two French ambassadors), JJ (who actually takes more pictures than I do), and myself. All in all: 8 Brits, 2 French and one token American. And for some reason we were all hell bent on calling ourselves "Airforce One" even though I was the only American. I never quite understood that.

We got along Fraser splendidly except for a few instances. We visited several of the inland lakes including the most famous Lake McKenzie pictured below. That place was truly special mainly for it virgin wilderness feel, clear bathwater and white sand.

They give you a lose itinerary to follow put most people didn’t understand the meaning of lose. When we didn’t hit our beach camp before the time we were supposed to be off the beach (due to high tide) we camped instead more inland. There was much contention as to weather that was legal or not. I didn't care. Another instance was the fact due to the recent cyclone the beach was only open to a certain point blocking us from seeing the famous ‘Wreck’. (in the early 30's a ship had run aground on the island and was still on the beach today) On our third day the beached opened up allowing people to drive up there, but since our 4x4 guy had said do not go past the rocks on the beach nobody was willing to go up there. JJ, Chris, and I said “F” that and stole the 4x4 while everyone else was at Lake Wallaby. We not only made it to the wreck but was back in time when everyone was back hiking from the lake. It felt good to break the rules and to not have to consult with 11 other people not that I minded those 10 other people. I rather fancied them.

On our last night we erected a giant beach camp between two other groups and ourselves. We rigged up tarps between the vehicles. It was the largest joint effort I had seen between strangers and it made for one of the most impressive beach camps I have ever been a part of. Most other people on the beach stared in wonder when they saw our camp. That evening, next to the ocean, we witnessed some of the most amazing stars.

In the end and after several nights of drinking "Goons" (what Aussies call very bad boxed wine) the sky's cleared and we never got the 4x4 stuck and by the miracle that Fraser Island is, people were actually impressed with my off road driving. We saw some dingos, swam in the most amazing lakes, and prepared some great meals. Put mostly I had a blast driving on the beach in Australia.

Side note: I have the distinct feeling that in about 10 years people will not be able to experience this. The system is too lack for putting people on Frasier Island and I am afraid that it is reeking havoc on the island. Imagine a giant sandbox with large 4x4 earth moving equipment and a bunch of unsupervised kids to play with it. I think you get the idea.