It's Mel (BIN) you idiot....

The Golden days of my tenure in Australia are upon me and I have spent them on a road trip from Sydney to Melbourne. This is called the Boomerang Coast and the majority of what everyone thinks Australia is-resides here. Melbourne itself is a delightful little city. It has a wonderful network of back alley bars and restaurants that keeps even the most wildest of souls entertained. Situated at the very bottom of Australia it had a small hint of Autumn in the air. Victoria (the state in which it resides) probably has the most severe seasons. It was a reminder that summer is over and my trip is nearing an end. In my travels I have seen the chill of spring, the ending heat of summer and now the dull bite of Autumn. These may not seem surprising given the length of my trip but you are forgetting that I have seen them completely out of order. Imagine packing for such a trip and then you will have an idea of what my life was like my last days in NY. I have lived with the same limited "set" of clothes for nearly four months now. It will confound me to have a choice when I get to my closet in the morning when I get back. My entire world may collapse.

We spend three delightful days in Melbourne's CBD (central business district) strolling through shops, taking in views of the city, and finding undiscovered bars in the back alleys at night. With its Victorian style building and extensive tram system the city has a more of a European feel than any other in Australia. Its proximity to the Victorian landscape and coast is one if its greatest assets. After three days we set off for the Great Ocean Road an hour and a half outside of town. It was an OK experience, but then again, maybe I am jaded now. I have seen New Zealand you know. The GOR winds through a spectacular piece of coast just west of Melbourne. But it left me wondering as to when something deserves the term "great". I wouldn't exactly call this road "great". It's 'nicer" than most. It would be "great" if it were the only road next to an ocean. The only "wow" part of it is the 12 Apostles (pictured below and left) and their aren't even 12 of them anymore. Hmm..I did see some wild Koalas on the road? The night we spent in Port Cambel I grilled and ate Kangaroo meat for the first time. That was pretty "great". Unfortunately that same hostel kicked us out in the morning and we had to break into another empty hostel down the street just to eat breakfast. That was "great" for us, but maybe not to the hostel owner that we broke into. I guess it is just a matter of perspective.

For perspective take all the subtle differences between two western societies that are thousands of miles apart. For the sake of argument lets say Australia and the United States. Those differences are what color a place. Australia may feel like the states but I have noticed many small differences. And it would be down right rude of me not to point them out now that I have brought it up. (depending on your perspective).

Take the name Melbourne for example. It's actually pronounced Mel (BIN) with a long 'I" and not Mel (BORN) like you would think, as I have been pointed out on more than one occasion. There are always differences in language between places even when you speak the same language. It's a Cloak Room not a coat check you idiot.

Or the fact that you pay for every little thing here that you normally have been conditioned to assume are complimentary. Condiments is a good example. I love paying two dollars for my packet of ketchup. Or the Internet. Here you pay for the amount you download. You have a prepaid amount and once you hit that you have to sit back and twiddle your thumbs until your allotment renews. (this one I found particularly annoying..especially when catching up on my LOST episodes).

Service is something to note. There is no tipping but for some reason service is still just as good as when you would tip. Or when you forget to put something in your checked luggage at Quantas Airways-they happily give you a temporary bag to check it in with your already checked bags. And they do that with a smile..like you are the only person in the world.

You actually "hail" buses here like you would do with a taxi.

Something else I have noticed. I think we as Americans do not use our knives to their full potential. We cut, we put down and then we switch hands with our fork and then apply food to our mouth. For the rest of the world..its seems the knife is much more than simply a cutting tool. In fact it has a Swiss army myriad of uses. It's a second fork, a shovel for pushing food toward your fork, a balancer of pieces of food that are to big for the fork, and it is always held in the second hand while eating. Only then is it sometimes used as a knife to cut things. I am sure my grandmother is rolling in her grave over this.

And my personal favorite: The two button toilet. Yes folks were are talking about the economy flush or the jumbo flush. Somebody actually took the time to think through the fact that not all trips to the o'l "WC" are the same. Some require a little iddy-biddy flush and for those bad days (or good days depending on your perspective) a great big grand-daddy flush. In the end this probably saves water too. Perhaps this is just a testament to the way Australian/New Zealanders think through things environmentally.

Combine all of these little quarks, in a "great", western, safe (as long as you stay in the cities), prosperous society in a vast country with lots of strange animals and fun things to do with nothing in between- than you have Australia. As cute or as annoying some of these may be they are the paint in the picture that is Australia. And I love it.

I am going to throw it back to Bill Bryson one last time because he says it best in his book, In a Sunburned Country:

"That's the thing with Australia, you see. It teems with interesting stuff, but at the same time it's so vast and empty and forbidding that it generally takes a remarkable stroke of luck to find it"

As for me. I was lucky to just have been here.